Portroids: Portroid of Lonica Lee Halley


Sometimes a person is best described by using their own words. That is why I chose to interview Lonica Lee Halley for her portroids' page.

Ado, ado, ado, without further ado ... I present "The Interview".

PORTROIDS: What do you want people to know about you that they don't already know?

LONICA LEE HALLEY: (silence - for literally two months) (OK ... I'll answer for her) (in Loni voice) I hate to be interviewed.

P: Oh, that's a very interesting answer, and something I didn't already know. Next question: Hypothetically, if by some cruel trick of fate, both of our spouses were no longer our spouses (like if Michael went off to the desert to save the whales and he didn't return for like two weeks, and Erica went skydiving and broke her leg and was bed-ridden and I got sick of taking care of her), and you and I decided to get married, would you (a strict vegetarian) cook meat for me (a fierce and savage carnivore)?

LLH: (again, no answer - maybe she thinks "hypothetical" is the same as "rhetorical")(if she wasn't so disresepectful of the "interview process", I'm sure she would say ...) That is so far-fetched that I refuse to answer.

P: Far-fetched, or so real that it just blew your mind?

LLH: (disgruntled, defiant, and continually mute)

P: Do you always use your middle name "Lee", or was that just special for portroids? Follow up question: are you still going by the name "Lee Halley: Karate-Chop Master", or has that fad faded?

LLH (LH:K-CM): (quiet, oh so quiet) (in Loni voice) I was nervous, so I signed my full name. And the whole Karate-Chop Master thing was your creation, not mine.

P: Next question: How psyched are you to finally have your portroid taken and posted? I mean, how psyched are you?

LLH: (true to form, she stays silent) (I'll field this one for her) I'm psyched out of my gourd! This is every girl's dearest dream! You are the greatest!

P: I couldn't agree more. Now, final question: What about that whole married/meat thing?

LLH: This interview is over.

There you have it folks, the straight chop from the karate-chop master.


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